Heaven's Arrivals !
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Stark
xKross
Daze
7 posters
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Heaven's Arrivals !
All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to
determine whether admission will be granted. One room has a clerk who inputs
computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life.
The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one. "I
came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just
gotten out of the shower.
Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I
knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover. I went
onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the
rail by his finger tips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a
flower pot.
He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On
seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag our antique cedar
chest to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this
point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and died.
The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office.
The second applicant said that his last day was his worst. "I was on the roof of
an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and
toppled off the building.
I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot
came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell
but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge
chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit
and killed by the chest."
The clerk couldn’t help but chuckle as he directs the man to the next room.
He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. He apologizes
and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the fellow in here
just before you."
"I don't know" replies the man, "picture this, I'm buck naked hiding' in this
cedar chest....."
determine whether admission will be granted. One room has a clerk who inputs
computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life.
The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one. "I
came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just
gotten out of the shower.
Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I
knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover. I went
onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the
rail by his finger tips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a
flower pot.
He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On
seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag our antique cedar
chest to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this
point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and died.
The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office.
The second applicant said that his last day was his worst. "I was on the roof of
an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and
toppled off the building.
I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot
came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell
but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge
chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit
and killed by the chest."
The clerk couldn’t help but chuckle as he directs the man to the next room.
He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. He apologizes
and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the fellow in here
just before you."
"I don't know" replies the man, "picture this, I'm buck naked hiding' in this
cedar chest....."
xKross- Forum pro
- Posts : 259
Join date : 2011-02-13
Age : 33
Location : KrossLand
Re: Heaven's Arrivals !
I was reading this and I started giggling out of nowhere and my dad got pissed because he was watching the Canuch's vs the Nashville game. Now I can't play tonight since he found out I wasn't doing my work.. Thanks Daze...
Re: Heaven's Arrivals !
Shitmaker wrote:Whatz goin on!?
Rofl... read it again nubb, its pretty simple.
Re: Heaven's Arrivals !
maybe he doesn't understand it. Lol
xKross- Forum pro
- Posts : 259
Join date : 2011-02-13
Age : 33
Location : KrossLand
Re: Heaven's Arrivals !
I read it backwards and it was just as funny.
vItO- Forum user
- Posts : 121
Join date : 2011-04-20
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