Heaven's Arrivals !

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Heaven's Arrivals !

Post  Daze on Mon May 09, 2011 11:20 am

All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to

determine whether admission will be granted. One room has a clerk who inputs

computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life.



The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one. "I

came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just

gotten out of the shower.





Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I

knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover. I went

onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the

rail by his finger tips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a

flower pot.



He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On

seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag our antique cedar

chest to the balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this

point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and died.



The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office.



The second applicant said that his last day was his worst. "I was on the roof of

an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and

toppled off the building.



I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot

came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell

but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge

chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit

and killed by the chest."



The clerk couldn’t help but chuckle as he directs the man to the next room.



He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. He apologizes

and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the fellow in here

just before you."



"I don't know" replies the man, "picture this, I'm buck naked hiding' in this

cedar chest....."

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Re: Heaven's Arrivals !

Post  xKross on Mon May 09, 2011 7:39 pm

lol..
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Re: Heaven's Arrivals !

Post  Stark on Mon May 09, 2011 9:18 pm

I was reading this and I started giggling out of nowhere and my dad got pissed because he was watching the Canuch's vs the Nashville game. Now I can't play tonight since he found out I wasn't doing my work.. Thanks Daze...

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Re: Heaven's Arrivals !

Post  Cow on Mon May 09, 2011 10:01 pm

DEM LAWLS

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Re: Heaven's Arrivals !

Post  vItO on Tue May 10, 2011 10:02 pm

I lol'd

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Re: Heaven's Arrivals !

Post  Shitmaker on Thu May 12, 2011 4:39 pm

Whatz goin on!? Shocked
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Re: Heaven's Arrivals !

Post  Daze on Fri May 13, 2011 1:03 am

Shitmaker wrote:Whatz goin on!? Shocked

Rofl... read it again nubb, its pretty simple.
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Re: Heaven's Arrivals !

Post  xKross on Fri May 13, 2011 1:02 pm

maybe he doesn't understand it. Lol
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Re: Heaven's Arrivals !

Post  vItO on Fri May 13, 2011 7:07 pm

I read it backwards and it was just as funny.

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Re: Heaven's Arrivals !

Post  Pres on Mon Dec 19, 2011 6:50 am

Winning

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